


I Want to Run My Finger Through Your Hair

by vanyasviolin



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Smut, Bisexual Vanya Hargreeves, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, G!P Vanya, Girl Penis Vanya, Heavy Angst, I don't even know what to tag this, Incest, Maybe fluff, Sister-Sister Relationship, Vanya has a dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-06 03:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21219989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanyasviolin/pseuds/vanyasviolin
Summary: "I heard a rumor that Vanya has a penis," Allison muttered.-Later that night, when everyone was changing for bed, Vanya could confirm Allison's rumor had come true.





	1. The Rumor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewhiteviolin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewhiteviolin/gifts).

Allison twirled her fork around the plate as she eyed Vanya. She bit her lip. Her mind had been wandering lately, wondering how far she could take her rumors. Her mind always came back to one thing in particular:

_“Do you think if I was a boy Dad would treat me like one of you?” Vanya asked as she rested her head on Allison’s shoulder. _

_“I mean, maybe?” Allison murmured nervously. “Why?” _

_“Sometimes I wish I were a boy,” Vanya said. _

“I heard a rumor Vanya has a penis,” Allison said softly.

“Allison! That is not dinner table talk! How dare you say something like that, especially while we eat?” Reginald scolded.

Vanya’s eyes grew wide as she felt her tights getting tighter around her hips. Her eyes dropped to her lap. She didn’t say anything; she didn’t feel like she could with Reginald’s remark to Allison’s words. He didn’t seem to care about her.

Later that night, when everyone was in their rooms changing for the night, that’s when Vanya could confirm that Allison’s rumor was true.


	2. Help Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such short chapters, they'll get longer once they're older.

When Vanya woke up and looked down at herself, is when she realized what she thought must’ve been a dream, was no dream at all. She sighed as her head fell back onto the stiff pillow beneath her.

She got ready for the day and went about her usual daily tasks for as long as she could. But when she started to feel uncomfortable in her tights again, she knew she had to ask someone for help.

Vanya snuck her way to Reginald’s office. Her dainty hand lightly knocked on the wooden doors before waiting a few moments.

“Come in,” could be heard from inside the room.

Vanya took in a nervous breath before walking into the office. She closed the door behind herself before looking at her father. She tried not to take too much offense when he didn’t look up from the papers he was working on.

“Yes?” he asked somewhat annoyed.

“I-I wanted to ask you something,” Vanya said.

“Okay? Get on with it.”

Vanya’s nerves were even worse than before. “Um, well, last night when… when Allison rumored me… it, uh… worked?”

Vanya could have sworn she saw his eyebrow twitch in amusement, but since he was staring down at the paper, it was harder to be sure of this.

“And what would you like me to do about it? Punish her?”

“I-I…” Vanya was speechless for a moment; she didn’t know what to say. “No…” she finally muttered.

“Then what do you want?”

“I just want help. I want _it_ to go away!” she raised her voice a little for the first time in a long time.

Slowly, Reginald looked up from his papers, eyeing the girl in front of him. “Take it up with Allison, she’s the only one who can help you with _that_.”

Vanya let out a small huff of air through her nose before storming out of the office. She didn’t even bother to close the door like she normally would. She stomped her feet all the way to the next floor up and down the hallway to Allison’s room. Without even knocking, she opened the door. Her once upset state, turned to anxiety and pure shock when she saw her sister’s lips mere inches away from Luther’s.

“VANYA GET OUT!” Allison yelled.

Vanya, in her scared state, quickly shut the door, and ran to her room faster than she ever had. Big, salty tears started falling down her cheeks as her back hit the door once it was closed. “I’m st-stuck with it…”


	3. Give Me Pants

Vanya looked at herself in the mirror. The pants didn’t look awful, but it was definitely something different then tights and a skirt. 

_“I need something other than a skirt to wear. It’s obvious what’s going on. I need pants. It’s easier to sit with pants, Dad.” Vanya pleaded._

_“Fine, Vanya. I’ll have Grace make you some. You’ll have then by the end of the day.” Reginald said before motioning for her to leave with a wave of his hand. _

Vanya started to walk out of her room. As she looked down the hallway, she saw Allison’s door was open while the rest were closed. She walked that way and saw Allison unpacking her bag. “How was the shoot?” Vanya asked softly.

Allison looked up with a smile. “It was incredible! Oh, pants?” her eyes dropped down to Vanya’s bottom half. “They look nice.”

Vanya looked down with a shy smile. “Thanks. I’m glad you had fun. See ya later, sis.”

“Okay, see you!” Allison said as Vanya turned away. She noticed how baggy the girl’s pants were and found it a little odd. She shook it off before putting away her clothes.

Later, when it was time for dinner, Vanya sat awkwardly and quietly in her seat. She had been hating Reginald more and more lately. “I want to move out.”

Everyone’s eyes shifted towards her, except for Reginald’s. He stared at his food. “And how do you expect yourself to do this. You need a place to go, a job for money and food… you’re not even sixteen yet, Vanya. No one will hire a teenager this young.”

The girl let out a small sigh of defeat. Her eyes fell back down to the plate in front of her.

“When you’re older, dear,” Grace said in her usually chirpy tone.


	4. Moving Out

Today was the day for Vanya, she was finally moving out. She had been figuring out what she was going to do for months now. She had fights with Reginald on several occasions.

_“You’re too young to leave! What are you even going to do out there? You’re not prepared for the real world yet.” Reginald yelled. _

_“I already have a job lined up… I’m moving out next month.” Vanya said calmly. _

_“N-next month? What?” _

_“The day after I turn sixteen. I already found an apartment as well. I’ve worked it out.” She explained. “You won’t have to worry about me anymore.”_

_Reginald just stared at her and for the first time in a long time, Vanya had made him speechless. _

She had fights with her siblings, too.

_“I’m moving out.” Vanya said softly._

_Allison’s eyes shot up from the script she had been looking over. “What?” _

_Luther’s head snapped towards Vanya. “You’re what?” _

_“When?” Diego asked as he stared out the window. _

_“Can I come?” Klaus asked. _

_“Huh?” Ben quickly looked to his sister. _

_The vast difference in responses wasn’t a shock to Vanya. She looked down at her fidgeting hands. “The day after we turn sixteen, I’m packing up and going. I already have a job lined up and a place to stay. Klaus,” she sighed. “You can’t come, I’m sorry. I won’t have the room for you. I’ll have a roommate already, which I’m not looking forward to, but I’ll deal for now. You can visit… if Reginald will let you.” _

_“It’s Dad to you.” Reginald said from the door. “Everyone, to your rooms for the night.” He said. _

The only person she hadn’t fought with was Grace. She was the most encouraging one.

_Grace smiled as she put Vanya’s pants into her small dresser. “I heard you’re leaving.”_

_Vanya bit her lip as she looked up at the blonde and nodded, “Yes.” _

_“That’s good. I think you’ll have fun. But, please, don’t be a stranger. I’ll miss you.” Grace said as she turned to face the teenager. _

_Vanya smiled sadly. “I’ll miss you, too, Mom.” _

Vanya didn’t have much to pack. She wasn’t taking her uniforms, she couldn’t. She had three pairs of clothes that weren’t uniforms, that’s when she made a mental note that the first thing she needed to buy was new clothes. Besides that, she had a small stack of books that she had collected over the years. She had a small duffel bag of clothes and one box that she would be taking with her.

“The taxi is here, Van.” Grace said as she walked into the teen’s room.

Vanya smiled weakly as she looked up. “Thank you, Mom. I’ll be down in a moment.”

Grace gave a single nod before disappearing.

Vanya took a deep breath as she slung her bag over her shoulder. She carried the single box of her things and made her way out.

On the way out of her room, she saw Luther standing in his doorway. Their eyes locked for a moment before he walked into his room and slammed the door. This didn’t make her anxiety about leaving any better. She set the box on the floor before shakily grabbing a bottle of pills from her pocket and shoved one into her mouth. She swallowed it dry before finally making her way to the stairs.

At the top of the staircase, Diego stood, leaning against the railing. He didn’t say a word as she passed him by. 

At the bottom of the staircase, Ben and Klaus stood. Ben reached out and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll miss you. Please, stay safe.”

“I will. Thank you,” Vanya said softly.

“I love you, sis,” Ben smiled.

“I love you, too,” she said just before Klaus ripped the box from her hands. He shoved it into Ben’s hands before hugging her tightly. Vanya gasped in surprise as she hugged him back.

“Please take me with you! You’re my favorite. I don’t want you to go!” he cried dramatically.

“You know you can’t come with me… you can visit though,” Vanya said in a hopeful tone.

“I’ll miss you s-so much,” Klaus murmured as he started pulling her toward the front door.

“I’ll miss you, too, but I’m not going far.” She told him.

Grace opened the front door and Ben started walking outside with the small box. “Darling, I already paid for your cab fee.”

Vanya smiled weakly. “Thank you,” she said with one arm still around Klaus. She spotted Allison, who just glared at her.

“I can’t believe you’re going,” Allison said in a monotone.

“Alli, you leave all the time. What are you talking about?” Vanya’s brows furrowed.

“Yeah, but I always come back, don’t I?” Allison’s voice turned to hurt as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“I’ll come back.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you later, sis,” Allison said before walking away.

“Ignore the sourpuss,” Klaus said before pulling Vanya outside.

Vanya eyes stared in the direction that Allison walked until she couldn’t see her any longer. She sighed as she turned her attention to the taxi that was waiting in front of the academy.

Ben had put the box into the backseat already and held out his hand for her bag.

Vanya handed it over nervously as she pried herself away from Klaus for only a moment.

“Please take me with you. I’ll sleep on the floor. I don’t eat much! I won’t ask for anything. I’ll even get a job, please.” The dark-haired boy pleaded once again.

Vanya sighed as she watched Ben walk away with a sad smile. “I can’t… not right now at least. Maybe… maybe one day, okay?” she asked as she turned her attention back to Klaus. “I love you. Please take care of yourself. Don’t let him push you around anymore. You can stand up for yourself.”

Klaus nodded sadly as he looked down. “I love you, too, Van. I-I guess I’ll see you around,” He said before turning away.

Vanya took in a deep breath as she tried to collect herself. Her chest was tight with the unknown and anxiety that this new chapter in her life was about to bring, but it was better than staying. She got into the cab and gave the driver her new address. As she stared out the window, she saw Ben, Klaus, Grace, and Pogo standing at the front door. From a window upstairs, she could see Allison in her bed crying. She couldn’t grasp the reason Allison seemed so upset, but she did know she hated whatever it was.


	5. Happy Birthday

Eighteen. The age that marks anyone as an adult. And yet, Vanya didn’t feel any different than the day before. She already felt like an adult and had for a couple of years now.

She was slow about getting up that morning, she didn’t have much to look forward to. It was going to be her first year without sharing a birthday with the other six. They had planned something months ago, but of course, Reginald weaseled his way into that.

_“Oh, it’s going to be a delight to throw you all a magnificent party! Eighteen is so special!” Grace grinned from ear to ear, almost quite literally._

_Allison smiled brightly. “Can we have more than one cake? Maybe a cake for the girls and one for the boys?"_

_Grace thought for a moment. “I don’t see why not, but aren’t the numbers a little uneven? There are only two of you girls.” She said as her eyes flickered between Allison and Vanya. _

_“You can always share it with me.” Klaus chimed in as he rested his chin in his hand. He batted his eyelashes dramatically as he smiled. _

_“I like that idea,” Vanya said. _

_“So, two cakes it is. What would everyone like to eat?” Grace asked. _

_“Steak and onions,” Luther was quick to say. _

_Vanya grimaced. “Chicken and mashed potatoes.” _

_“A plate of mac’n’cheese, please,” Ben said. _

_“Anything,” Klaus said. _

_“I’d like your homemade mashed potatoes too,” Diego chimed. _

_“I’m okay with mashed potatoes too, and the chicken is alright.” Allison said. _

_“Marvelous! We’ll have a feast!” Grace grinned. _

_A few days passed before Vanya got a call from Grace. She was in the midst of getting ready for work when her roommate at the time told her she had a call. She took the phone and walked back to her room. “Hello?” _

_“Vanya, darling… the party is off.” Grace’s soft voice came through the phone. _

_The teen’s brows furrowed. “Why? Is everyone okay?” _

_“Yes, yes. Everyone is fine. But, your father said that it’s not the best idea. Some of your siblings have things to do that day.” _

_“Oh… okay.” Vanya tried to push away the feelings that were starting to rise within her chest. She glared at the corner of her small bedroom where she had started putting the things she had bought for some of her siblings so far. “Alright.”_

_“I’m so sorry, but you’re more than welcome to still come by.”_

_“Yeah, I might. I’ve really gotta go, I’m sorry, Mom. I love you.”_

_“It’s okay, Vanya. I love you, too,” Grace said before hanging up. _

As Vanya started to button up her top, she heard a knock on her bedroom door. “Hold on,” she yelled. Once she had the last button in place, she walked over to the door and opened it. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw Victor with a blueberry muffin in his hand with a candle in it.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Vanya, happy birthday to you!” Victor sung before pushing the muffin into her hands.

The woman smiled shyly before blowing out the candle. “Thank you so much, V. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I also know last year wasn’t so great. So I wanted to make this birthday better. Plus, the big one-eight! You can do so much more now.” Victor smiled. “What’d you wish for?”

Vanya’s eyes dropped at the question. “Nothing really.”

“C’mon, spill it!”

“Nothing, it’s stupid,” Vanya said as she took the candle out of the muffin before taking a big bite. She pushed her way past Victor and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of milk.

“It’s not stupid if it’s your birthday wish,” Victor said as he followed after her.

Vanya sighed as she leaned against the counter. “To see everyone again. I thought I’d enjoy my first birthday away from them, but I already miss them.”

Victor frowned, “You can still go over there.”

Vanya shook her head. “Yeah, maybe… I have work though. So, I guess if I have time afterward.”

“If you want, I can always go with you so it’s easier.” He offered.

Vanya gave him a lopsided smile. “Yeah, maybe,” she said before grabbing her keys off the table along with her bag. “Thanks for the muffin. I’ll be back around seven.”

“Okay,” Victor sighed.

Vanya’s workday went in like any other; she collected orders, served food, gave people their bills, and collected her small tip after each group or person was done. None of the other employees or her boss seemed to acknowledge that it was her birthday, and she was fine with that. She was used to not being the center of attention and wanted to keep it that way.

By the end of the day, Vanya was ready to head home and relax. She had been on her feet almost nonstop with no more than a five-minute break. She clocked out, finally, and got a cab home instead of walking tonight.

As she got to her apartment and started to unlock the door, she could hear chatter inside the apartment and was instantly filled with worry about who was there. Once the door was open, she spotted Victor on one side of the counter, and Klaus on the other, leaning against the counter.

“You’re so cute when you cook,” Klaus said as he smiled.

Victor blushed as he turned away to the stove. “Thanks,” he chuckled.

Vanya cleared her throat to announce her presence, which caused the two to jump before looking at her.

“Sis!” Klaus cheered before running to her, nearly tackling her as he hugged her tightly. “Oh, I’ve missed you. Happy birthday.”

Vanya chuckled softly as she hugged her brother back. “I’ve missed you, too. Happy birthday.” She said before pulling back to look at him. For once he didn’t smell like alcohol, but his eyes were red. “How are you?” she asked instead of asking if he was high.

“A little sad that we didn’t have the party,” Klaus said he pulled away to lay down on the sofa. “Luther was busy all day. Who knows where Diego was… and Allison moved out.” He said.

Vanya’s brows furrowed. “When did she move out?” she asked as she started to put up her things.

“Hmm, maybe a month or two ago. She moved all the way to L.A.” Klaus said before looking at Vanya. “Diego is looking to move out too.”

Vanya sighed. “I’m sure Reginald isn’t too happy about that.”

“Of course, he’s not. He’s got a stick up his ass about everyone staying to go on missions.” Klaus rolled his eyes. “I don’t even go anymore.”

“I’ve noticed,” she said before walking over to the kitchen to see that Vincent was grilling chicken on the stove. She smiled to herself, it was what she asked Grace for.

“I couldn’t handle it anymore… I, uh, actually kinda packed up my stuff.” Klaus murmured as he eyed the two bags on the floor.

Vanya’s eyes moved that way before she looked at Klaus again. “Are you planning on staying here?” she asked.

“Just for a few days.” He said with a cheeky smile.

Vanya took in a deep breath. “Okay… just a few days though.”

A few days turned into a few months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you guys are feeling about this so far. I also apologize for the slow burn we got going on here.


	6. Book Deal

Vanya had just gotten off of a twelve-hour shift at the diner when she walked into the apartment to see Klaus on the couch in his underwear with a pile of papers in one hand and a joint in the other. When his eyes met Vanya’s, she knew she was fucked. “I-I can explain,” she muttered quickly.

Klaus raised a brow as he set the pile of papers down on the small wooden coffee table in front of him. “You could have told me you were writing a book. I could help.”

Vanya just stared at her brother for a moment. “Really?” she asked. “You’re not… mad?”

“Why the hell would I be mad? This is genius, V, absolutely genius. Do you know how many people are going to just gag over this? How awful the famously rich _Reginald Hargeeves_ is?” Klaus asked, saying their father’s name dramatically. He stood up from the couch and put out the joint in a small ashtray. “It’s exposing all of the bullshit we’ve had to put up with for years. I can even add some of the experiments he did on us if you’d like.”

Vanya thought for a moment. “Really? I mean, I know the majority of what happened, but if I miss anything, please tell me.”

“Gladly,” Klaus grinned before walking over to the small kitchen. He started grabbing things to make a sandwich. “Want one?”

“Uh, no thanks. I need to take a shower. I smell like grease and bleach.”

“I couldn’t tell, but okay. Victor said he has a late shift.”

Vanya nodded as she finally took off her coat. “Okay… you two seem to be getting along well.”

Klaus smiled widely. “I know! I think he likes me. Do you know if he’s gay? Maybe bi or pan?”

“I believe he’s gay, or something like that. He had just broken up with a guy when he moved in here a few months ago.” Vanya said as she kicked off her shoes.

“A breakup, huh? Did it sound serious?” Klaus asked before taking a bite of the sandwich he now held.

“That’s why he had to move, so I think so. But, then again, it’s been a while since he moved here. Just, take it easy. He’s older than us.”

“You like him though, don’t you? He seems like a good guy if he’s living with you.”

“I do, he’s a very good roommate to have. I just… I don’t want you getting hurt, Klaus. I know how you can get with relationships.” Vanya murmured.

Klaus scoffed. “Excuse me, but I have never been in a serious relationship before. How would you know my dating habits?”

“You’re not helping your case,” Vanya said.

Klaus was silent for a moment. “I just really, really like him. Would you be okay if I fucked him.”

“Oh, God. You went from a serious relationship to fucking in a minute.” Vanya laughed as she started walking towards her room. “Just be safe!”

“I always have condoms!” Klaus said loudly.

Vanya cringed, but simply shook her head. “Good to know!”

Vanya carried on with her nightly routine, washing her face, taking a shower, taking her pills, and finally eating a small meal before she retired to her room for the night. She tossed and turned in bed. She groaned as she turned to her back, and looked down at herself, seeing the tent under the sheets. As she squeezed her eyes shut, the image of the gorgeous woman from the diner appeared.

Vanya kicked off the blankets and pushed down her shorts and boxers. She bit her lip as her eyes moved to the ceiling as her hand met her erection. Her eyes fluttered shut as she envisioned the woman from the diner, tall, thin, dark tanned skin, chocolate eyes, and perfectly curly hair. As her vision changed to a fantasy, one she had often, the person changed too. In front of her on the bed was Allison, naked, gorgeous with her goddess-like body.

Vanya’s hand started slowly moving faster up and down, up and down. Just as Allison did in her fantasy. She quickly threw her other hand over her mouth to hold back a moan that so desperately wanted to slip out.

The fantasy in Vanya’s mind was very realistic. Her eyes stayed trained on Allison’s body, softly moving up and down her cock. She bit her lip hard as she envisioned one of Allison’s hands wrapping around her neck, and giving it a light squeeze which easily, and quickly sent her over the edge.

She let out a small groan as she felt the familiar sticky substance clinging to the skin of her hand and stomach. Her eyes finally opened and she looked down at herself, cringing. She was quick to get up and grab a wet wipe out of the nightstand drawer.

As Vanya was mid-clean up when her bedroom door burst open. Her eyes went wide as she covered herself with a pillow.

Klaus’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as his jaw dropped. He let out a scream before turning around. “YOU HAVE A DICK?” his voice went up a few octaves.

“I-I can explain…!” Vanya stammered as she quickly cleaned up the mess and pulled on her boxers.

“Have you always had one?” Klaus asked as his voice finally returned to its normal sound.

“N-no… no, I haven’t.”

“Are you trans? Cause if you are that’s okay, you know.” He said.

“No, you can turn around now,” Vanya said with a sigh. “I’m not trans either.”

Klaus turned and stared at her for a moment with a confused expression. “Then how—oh… oh!” his eyes grew wide. “When we are kids, didn’t Allison…?” he trailed off nervously.

Vanya sighed as she sat on the edge of her bed. “Yeah… I know Allison didn’t mean harm in doing what she did, but… it’s really fucked me up.”

“I can imagine,” Klaus murmured before sitting next to her. “I mean, if I woke up one day with a vagina, I don’t know what I would do… well, maybe I do.” He chuckled.

Vanya rolled her eyes before lightly slapping his arm. “You’re gross.”

“Well, you were obviously just jerking it,” Klaus said.

Vanya cringed at his choice of words. “I couldn’t help it. It was either that or trying to ignore it.”

“Yeah, ignoring a hard-on never works.” He said before laying back on the bed. “So, with what you’re writing, are you planning on getting a book deal?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah… I’ve already sent snippets to some publishers. There are two or three people interested in the book already.” Vanya explained as she laid back down next to her brother.

“How much money are they offering?”

She rolled her eyes at the mention of money. “That’s not what this is really about, you know that right?” she asked.

“I know… I’m just curious.”

“It depends on how long the book is… someone said I could easily make half a million if it’s around twenty chapters. Someone else has offered me more.” Vanya explained.

“Holy shit!” Klaus gasped. “That’s a lot, Van!”

“I guess, but that’s not what I’m wanting out of this… I want to know he’s just an arrogant fraud… using kids to make money, to be relevant. No one knows the torture he put us through.”

“No one except Pogo and Grace.”

“Who are both his minions.”

Klaus sighed. “True… want a joint?”

“No,” Vanya shook her head. “I can’t smoke or really drink with my pills.”

“LSD? Speed?” Klaus offered.

She shook her head. “No, thank you.” She hated that he did drugs, but she understood at the same time. “You should go to bed… I need some sleep.”

“Alright,” Klaus got the hint and got up from the bed. “I might stay up a little longer to say goodnight to Vic.”

Vanya raised a brow at her brother. “You’re calling him Vic now?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Klaus grinned. “Anyways, goodnight, sis. Next time lock your door.” He smirked before walking out of the room.

Vanya rolled her eyes before turning to her side and pulling the blankets up to her chin.


	7. Goodbye Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize now for the amount of angst that is what this chapter is. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Death, drug abuse, and alcohol abuse.

Vanya was awoken by a shrill scream was could not be mistaken for anyone other than Klaus. His bloodcurdling scream shook her to the core. She was quick to pull in a pair of pants before running out of her room. She nearly ran into Victor on the way to the living room. They both found Klaus curled up into a ball on the sofa with tears pouring down his cheeks.

“What’s going on?” Vanya asked.

“Did something happen?” Victor questioned.

Klaus’s breath heaved as he pouted in front of his with a shaky hand.

Both Vanya and Victor looked to the spot where he pointed, but there was nothing.

“B-Ben!” Klaus screamed.

Victor looked confused while Vanya gulped. She knew Klaus hadn’t been on any drugs for nearly three days because he wanted to help with the book, which meant his power was finally useable.

“I-I’ve got this. Go back to bed.” Vanya said as she looked at Victor.

He gave her a confused looked but nodded before disappearing off down the hallway.

Vanya walked over to her brother and sat down next to him on the sofa. “Is he there still?” she asked.

“Y-yes,” the tears wouldn’t stop. “He d-died. He died, V! What th-the f-fuck?” he nearly yelled before sobbing hard against her shoulder.

Vanya took in her own shaky breath as she wrapped her arms around him. She looked into the direction Klaus has previously pointed to, but she couldn’t see a thing. She wished she could. She wished she could understand what it was like to feel as bad as Klaus did.

She rubbed his back for what seemed like hours as they both cried, and no words were really spoken.

Somewhere between the hours when Vanya had sat down, and sunrise, they had fallen asleep on the couch. Neither woke when Victor left for work, as he tried to be as quiet as possible.

What woke them was a sharp ring of the telephone in the kitchen. With eyes red and blotchy, Vanya got up from her awkward position on the sofa to get it. She was thankful Klaus was still somewhat out of it as she moved away. She grabbed the phone on its last ring, and with a shaky hand, she brought it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Vanya,” Grace’s voice came through the speaker. Her usual chipper tone wasn’t there.

Vanya inhaled deeply as she felt the tears appearing again. “Y-yes?”

“I-I hate to inform you of tragic news… your… your brother has died—last night, during a mission, Ben was killed. I’m sorry.” Grace explained.

Vanya couldn’t recall a time she had ever heard Grace stammer or hear her voice shake the way it did now. “I know…” she sighed.

“You do? Oh, Klaus… poor boy, I can’t imagine.” She sighed.

“FUCK EVERYONE!” Klaus screamed from the other room.

Vanya nearly jumped out of her skin. “I’ll call you back, Mom. I-I need to talk to Klaus.” She said before hanging up and quickly ran back into the living room.

Klaus was hiding her the blanket, where he was curled into a ball on the sofa. “It’s not real… this isn’t real… it’s-it’s just a dream… I’m dreaming. I just—I need to wake up…” he murmured to himself.

Vanya just bit her lip. She didn’t know what to do.

“G-go away! Get out of my head!” he screamed.

Vanya bit her lip harder. She stepped closer to the couch and sat on the arm of it. “Klaus…” she whispered as she pushed the blanket away from his face. “Come on, you need to eat, we both do.”

“I can’t eat at a time like this!” Klaus said as he sat up. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I need a joint. I need a needle. I need something!”

“No, no. You need food.” Vanya said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Klaus just shook his head. “I can’t eat. I need a joint.”

“You’re not getting high, Klaus. You’ve been doing so well.” She said with a sigh. “I-I know this is hard.”

Klaus looked up at Vanya with tears streaming down his face. “D-do you know h-how hard it is to see your brother as a ghost? In the middle o-of the fucking night?” he asked.

Vanya looked down as she shook her head.

“Exactly! Y-you’ll never understand.”

“I wish I could!” Vanya didn’t like to raise her voice, she never had. “I-I wish I knew and understood your struggles, Klaus, but I can’t. I-I’m ordinary.”

“I wish I was ordinary,” Klaus said bitterly before throwing the blanket off of his body. He reached for a pair of jeans and started to slip them on.

“Where are you going, Klaus?”

“I know a place where I can get what I need. I’ll see you later.” He said as he pulled on a t-shirt.

“Klaus… please, let’s just talk.”

Klaus slipped on a pair of tattered up shoes. “I just need some time alone right now.”

As Vanya opened her mouth Klaus was already out the door. She sighed as she shook her head. As she stood up, the phone rung again, and she groaned. She went into the kitchen and grabbed it off the receiver. “Hello?”

“Vanya,” Grace’s voice was still shaky. “Your sister is coming into town tomorrow. That’s when we’re going to have a… get together then.”

“O-oh, okay… thank you for letting me know. I’ll tell Klaus.” Vanya said softly.

“Okay, dear. I’ll… I’ll see you two then.”

“Okay, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

Vanya let out a heavy sign as she and Klaus got into the cab. It was almost an hour from the academy, so they had left extra early to hopefully be there on time.

The cab ride was silent. When Vanya had woken up, he was passed out on the couch with a couple of hickeys on his neck and a track mark on his arm.

Vanya had worn her usual dark blue jeans and a flannel, while Klaus opted for an all-black outfit. He had tried to cover the dark circles under his eyes with some of Vanya’s concealer, but it didn’t really work.

The two of them hadn’t really spoken since he woke up mid-nightmare in the middle of her eating breakfast. She knew he had taken a couple of pills before they had left, but she didn’t blame him. She did too. The nerves of returning back to the academy was enough to send her down a spiraling hole of anxiety and flashbacks she’d rather not talk about to anyone but her therapist.

When they arrived at the academy, Vanya saw Allison getting out of a car just a few feet away from them. She hadn’t seen her sister in almost six or seven months, and she looked more gorgeous already. Her once dark curls were now a light brown almost blonde. Their eyes met, and Vanya could see the redness, the sadness they held.

“I’ll meet you inside,” she told Klaus before walking towards Allison. As she approached Allison, her eyes looked her up and down, taking her all in. Her eyes stopped at Allison’s hand, which held a Prada bag, but she didn’t notice the brand, what she noticed was a large diamond ring on the other teen’s ring finger. “Are you engaged?”

Allison looked up, eyes wide as could be. “Shit,” she murmured before taking the ring off and shoving it into her purse. “I-I forgot to take that off.”

Vanya tilted her head slightly as she watched her sister’s frantic movements. “I take it you didn’t want us to know.” Her voice held the sound of a boy who got told no to prom.

Allison looked down. “It’s not—it’s not that… this just isn’t the time.” She sighed.

Vanya just nodded before turning away to walk back to the house. She couldn’t understand why her heart felt so broken at that moment. She knew she liked Allison, but she chalked it up to the fact that she was the only other girl she knew growing up, and that with time her stupid crush would fade away. At least that’s what she had been telling herself for nearly two years.

“Vanya! Wait a second, please.” Allison said. 

Vanya looked over her shoulder as she tried to shake away the feeling in her chest. “What?”

“Please, don’t tell Dad, or Luther.” She said.

Vanya just nodded before walking up the house. She nearly stopped in her tracks when she heard Reginald’s voice coming from down the hall. “I told you I didn’t want a funeral for him! That is not what we’re doing! He’s going to be cremated!”

“We need to let the children morn, Master.” Pogo’s voice was softer, but still stern. “It’s their first real encounter with death, we need to let them have this process as we have everything else.”

Vanya nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Reginald’s office door slam shut. It was an unmissable sound from any other door in the house.

She walked further into the house and stopped in the main room to see Klaus behind the bar mixing drinks. Luther was on the sofa, and she could tell he had been crying. Diego was nowhere to be seen.

“Anyone want a drink?” Klaus asked.

“Sure,” Luther said as he got up from his spot on the sofa.

Vanya’s eyes widened. Before she could say anything, the door behind her opened and Allison walked in with her bags.

“I’ll take those to your room, dear,” Grace said as she came down the stairs.

Allison just shook her head at first as she looked around the room. “It’s fine. I can get it, Mom. Thank you.” She said softly.

Vanya looked away from Allison and back to Klaus and Luther who were now both downing a bottle of brandy. She shook her head with a sigh before sitting down at the bar.

“You want a cup?” Klaus asked.

“No,” she said softly. “Where’s Diego?”

“Haven’t seen him since the mission.” Luther murmured. “I think he went to his girlfriend’s house or something.”

“He’s in the police academy,” Pogo said as he walked into the room. “He sighed up the week after your birthdays. He had school.”

“Really?” Vanya asked. “That’s—“

“Good for him.” Klaus interrupted. “We all should have our own lives now. This jus-just says that we really can’t be superheroes an-anymore.”

“Talk for yourself.” Luther murmured before getting up. “I’m still a superhero! I’m still saving people.”

“You couldn’t even save our own brother!” Klaus yelled.

“I did try! Y-you weren’t there. You never are anymore! Neither is Allison or Vanya. You all left!” Luther yelled as he threw his hands up in the air.

“You could leave too, you know?” Allison said as she walked back down the stairs.

Luther just scoffed. “Says Hollywood’s sweetheart.”

Allison just shook her head as she sat down on one of the sofas. “I am not Hollywood’s sweetheart.”

“Right,” Vanya said without realizing.

Klaus bit her lip before downing the rest of the alcohol that was in his glass.

“Where’s Dad?” Allison asked.

Pogo looked at them for a moment. “He… he won’t be coming to the memorial.”

“Why not?”

Pogo sighed. “He doesn’t think there should be one.”

Vanya shook her head in pure disbelief. “Are you serious? Ben is dead and he doesn’t think he deserves a funeral?” she asked bitterly.

“He doesn’t for any of you.”

“What the fuck?” Vanya asked.

“Just another thing you can add to the book.” Klaus murmured.

Vanya looked at her brother with widened eyes. She shook her head at him, as if to tell him not to say anything.

“A book?” Allison asked.

Vanya’s hands instantly started to sweat. “Fuck…” she whispered. She wished she could just run out of the house and forget that this had ever happened – all of it.

“Yeah, she’s writin’ a’book ‘bout us. I’m helpin’.” Klaus said, slurring his words already.

Vanya gulped as she looked away from everyone. She started fidgeting with the ends of her flannel. “It’s about me, too…”

“What about us?” Luther asked as he turned to her.

“I-it’s nothing really.” She stammered nervously. When she picked her head up, she saw everyone looking at her: Allison, Luther, Klaus, even Pogo was looking at her. She swallowed the thick knot in the back of her throat.

“What happened when we were kids,” Klaus said.

“Will you for the love of God, please shut up.” Vanya groaned as she facepalmed.

Klaus looked at Vanya with a pout. “Sorry, Jesus.” He said in a dramatically hurt voice.

Vanya sighed softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, but you know I didn’t want anyone knowing about this.” She said.

“Is it going to be that bad?” Allison asked.

“It’s not bad, Allison. I promise.” Vanya said as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I just don’t know how I’m going to not put some things in without hurting someone.”

“Do you mean us, or Dad?” Luther asked.

“Both…” she admitted.

Klaus just eyed Vanya, he wasn’t sure what to say now.

Allison scoffed. “What are you even writing about?”

“It’s called—”

Vanya cut Klaus off before he could finish that sentence. “What it was like to be extra... ordinary, and I don’t mean that in a good way.” She blurted out.

Luther furrowed his brows. “Do you know that any and each of us would kill to be ordinary and not have to do what we do?” he asked.

“That’s a load of bullshit, and we both know it.” Vanya said as she got up. “I know that the only one who feels that way is Klaus.”

“And Ben…” Klaus murmured.

“You love going on missions, we all know that, or you would have left when the rest of us did.” Vanya said.

“She’s not wrong…” Allison said.

“Why are you all ganging up on me? I didn’t do anything to anyone.” Luther asked.

“We’re not, you’re just the idiot who stays here when we’ve all left,” Vanya said before she started walking toward the front door. “You’d never make it in the real world anyway, you’re too weak for that. That’s why you refuse to leave and live in this fantasy land that Reginald has built for you like you’re some sort of savior!”

“You’re such a bitch, you know that? You always have been. Things got better after you left.” Luther yelled. He walked after her and as he went to grab her arm, Allison ran to him and pushed him back.

“Luther!” Allison yelled. “Don’t touch her.”

Vanya turned back with wide eyes, not even realizing what almost happened. Her heart raced inside her chest. “Did you almost grab me?”

“Whatever,” he huffed as he pulled away.

“It’s not whatever… why are you being such an asshole? I know that you’re hurt, we all are, but that doesn’t mean we need to take it out on each other. Especially those of us who weren’t even there.” Allison said.

Vanya shook her head in disbelief. “You never did grow up, did you?” she asked as she looked at Luther. “You’re just a giant child.”

“Vanya…” Allison said as she looked at the other woman with a sigh.

“What? We all know it’s true. He’s so immature, and will never, ever grow up.” She yelled.

“Watch it,” Luther warned.

“Why? What are you going to do? Go ape shit on me? What’s that going to prove, _Number One_?” she asked with a snarky smile.

Luther lunged himself toward Vanya, but both Allison and Klaus caught him. “Stop it, both of you!” Allison said.

“Whatever,” Vanya said as she turned away toward the door. “I’m going.”

“V, where are you going?” Klaus asked.

“Home, this is shit. I don’t need this.” She said.

“Let me come with you,” Klaus said before running after his sister.

Vanya sighed before turning back toward him. “Stay for Ben. I’m sorry, I just—I can’t stay here…” she shook her head.

Klaus bit his lip. “I-I can’t do th-this without you…”

Vanya placed her hand on his arm. “You can, and you will. I’m sorry I’m bailing on you… I’ll see you later.” She said before finally walking out of the academy.

Klaus let out an aggravated sigh. “Do you have to ruin everything trying to be all big and bad?” he yelled at Luther.

“Why don’t you go talk to the dead and fuck off?” Luther seethed.

“Why don’t the both of you just shut up!” Allison yelled. “God, you both still act like kids. Grow up.” She said before storming off.


End file.
